Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
