You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
