I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
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