hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
