I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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