My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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