my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
