I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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