My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
