She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
