I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
