When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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