are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
