Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize