She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
