I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
