It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
