If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
