I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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