you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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