what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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