You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
