My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
