There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
