Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
