I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
