I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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