Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize
