Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
