Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
