Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
