Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
