? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
