I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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