my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
