thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
