i jhust puked up my retainher.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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