she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
