you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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