the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
