I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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