I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
