How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
