Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
