The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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