We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
