the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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