I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Be still, my beating vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
