but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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