dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
