Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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