it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
