Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
