please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Randomize
